What is an Anchor Relationship™, and why does it matter?
Anchor Relationships is a framework for ethical leadership that enables leaders to be their best selves by connecting deeply with people who share and strengthen their values. Instead of relying on willpower or ethical codes of conduct alone, leaders draw strength from these meaningful connections to help them consistently make choices that reflect their own moral compass. Explore the research foundations for Anchor Relationships here.
Qualities of Anchor Relationships
Anchor Relationships are profound connections that help individuals make choices aligned with their core values despite external pressures to conform. Unlike casual friendships or professional networks, these relationships serve as both a moral compass and a source of resilience, particularly during challenging times.
At their foundation, Anchor Relationships are characterized by three distinctive qualities:
Mutual investment in growth - Both individuals genuinely desire to see each other reach their full potential, actively nurturing and recognizing the highest capabilities in one another.
Enhancement of self-efficacy and courage - These relationships strengthen each person's belief in their own capabilities and provide the emotional support needed to navigate difficult situations.
Connection to deeper virtues and ethics - Anchor Relationships root individuals to enduring principles that transcend immediate personal gain, helping them remain honest and aligned with core values, especially during challenging times.
Research shows these relationships function as catalysts for inner strength by fostering resilience through connection (Deci & Ryan, 2014; Clark & Mills, 1979). This concept finds theoretical grounding in both ancient philosophy, such as Aristotle's exploration of friendship in Nicomachean Ethics, and modern psychological frameworks including Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 2014), social learning processes, and social intuitionist theory (Bandura, 1986; Haidt, 2001). Explore the research foundations for Anchor Relationships here.
How Anchors FOSTER RESILIENCE IN Each Other
In interviews, people described how the Anchors in their lives stabilized them during challenging moments in their careers.
“Early in my career, I was doing something I loved but working with someone who wasn’t honest and was taking a lot of short-cuts. I was worried that if I pushed back, things would fall apart. I found my voice with the support of my Anchor who helped me realize that I don’t have to endure indignity. I can draw hard lines, and I can handle it.”
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“[At one point in my career, I had to leave a workplace that had become toxic.] I was internalizing the stress and developing extreme apathy. My Anchor gave me strength and support to get some daylight between myself and my job. He gave me the freedom to heal, to get perspective from a traumatizing experience. I ended up being a healthier person and was able to grow from this experience. Now I have a very different way of showing up for work.”
“[There was a time when I was leading organizational change and a lot of people were angry about the changes I was enacting.] My Anchor said to me: ‘you cannot take this so personally.’ That was part of the issue. She also helped me capitalize on an opportunity for transformative conversation with the protagonist and talk about the issue that we need to solve together. I might have left the job without a helping hand.”
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“[I dealt with a long and painful work conflict for a number of years.] My Anchor helped me examine the issue and separate out what was me and what was real, or to see the difference between what was subjective and what was objective. Then I could deal with the emotions more consciously.”
Who can be an Anchor?
Anyone in your life can be an Anchor for you — and you can be an Anchor for them, too. That includes your parents, your children, your spouse, your classmate, your neighbor, and your co-worker.
If you’re worried that you might not have an Anchor Relationship in your life, or if you’d like to build more of these connections, join Our Community at the bottom of this page. It’s a place to share experiences and learn to deepen bonds with people who matter most to us.
Anchor Relationships enable human flourishing and motivate moral and ethical behavior.
A 2019 study of moral exemplars found that Anchor Relationships act as a “reinforcing mechanism,” reminding exemplars of their moral values when confronted with a difficult choice (Cummings, 2019).
Aristotle believed that people experience true happiness through relationships marked by mutual care and that the desire to maintain these relationships is the chief reason why people act ethically. In this way, our most virtuous relationships motivate us to behave ethically (Jacquette, 2001).
Read the origin story behind Anchor Relationships.
